AND NOW ANOTHER EPISODE OF:

THE MANDY PATINKIN HOUR!!

Our favorite THEM SONG is HEARD:
MANNNNNDEEE PATINKIN MANDEEEE PATINKIN MANNDEEEE MANDEEEE MANDEEE PATINKINNNNNNN

FADE IN:

BARE STAGE - NIGHT A luminescent black GRAND PIANO. PAUL, the hen-pecked, nervous, wiry, PIANIST, adjusts his impeccably greased COMB-OVER and begins an intro with a dazzling flourish. MANDY PATINKIN, has finished removing the NY Yankees cap worn during his crowd pleasing "Sports Medley" and tosses it, as if unrehearsed, O.S. to ROMAN, his DRESSER, who just happened to be the first man legally married in the United States. The beautiful piano music plays as Patinkin pours himself water from the pitcher on the table next to his stool. He turns a page on his music stand, squeezes two exact squeezes of lemon into the water and holds his right hand up, just as the intro finishes.

MANDY PATINKIN:

Paul... Paul... stop... stop... go back... Sorry, ladies and gentlemen... Paul understands, don't you, Paul... If I don't take that breath and dig in to what I think Mister Styne was feeling that brisk spring day, then I... well... let's just let the song speak or "sing", rather, for itself... shall we?

(Patinkin takes a long, deep breath. Levels a gaze at the audience just long enough to make everyone truly uncomfortable. Then...)

Paul... count it in, sir....