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Sunday, July 30, 2006

Another Commercial - B-Movie Footnote

Got a cool gig through old friend, Jesse Dylan, in a commercial for the NFL. I'm a Scottish football coach.

It's pretty nutty.

The two summers in Edinburgh paid off.

In other news, I watched this piece of shit movie last night; The Californians. Holy shit. Jessie (my wife, not the director) had fallen asleep with the tv on when I came in and The Californians was just starting. Man, it's a pile.

Speaking of a pile... Chilton gave me the The Movie Channel "Dean Cameron" spot. I don't know if I'm insulted or not. The spots refer to me as a B-Movie Footnote. It stings a bit. Okay. A lot. It would've been cool if I had done the VO and ripped on myself.

Another cool thing about the NFL gig is that they paid me more than scale. That's greeet, as a Scottish Football Coach would say.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

steve klong

The guy who taught me to play bass (a drummer, actually) is in Chicago dealing with cancer. He's keeping a blog of the experience. I think he should call it "too much... too much fucking perspective..."



Friday, July 21, 2006

love tapes

It's official. Love tapes is happening in Minneapolis. Jessie is there now casting it.

5 shoes a week with two shoes on sunday. that will kill me, i think. seems fine. seems like a fine problem to have. i won't have any time to get depressed or lonely.

speaking of...

i'm dealing with all sorts of peyton place bullshit that's going on in l.a. and it is making me hate humanity and that'sa no a gooda.

adults acting like little kiddies. amazing.

mainly, i'm walking around montreal listening to the fountainhead and getting bummed out because i'll never be as excellent as roarke; i've never had that sort of drive or morality and i feel like i'm too lazy to even get to that neighborhood. also, it seems that most of the fountainhead has the hero eating shit whereas in atlas shrugged the shitheads didn't win so much all the time. maybe not. atlas shrugged was such a charge and the fountainhead seems to be less so.

watching stewart lee sends me inward and makes me want to say "fuck it" and quit. it's actual genius and it's actually realized and onstage right there. and, like most geniuses, there are seats available.

speaking of seats available, we're doing okay. not packing 'em in. we did for the weekend and now we're getting a respectable number of folks in. i really like the theater and the city but i miss jessie. it's been a good run here. i hope it picks up this weekend. unless we get booked for other festivals or other paying gigs, this may be it. i'm certainly not going to try to put the show somewhere for free anymore. we can make money doing it, and have proven that, but i'm done with showcasing it for free.

i booked a v.o. gig that it looks like i may not be able to do. ah well. nice to be wanted. i've been having a good year, financially, but haven't been booking many v.o. gigs and i get ascared that they'll drop me...

oh, the insecurity and fear... it's sooo awesome being an actor!!!

victor and i are sharing a nice suite here at the hotel here. he bought a $50 wireless router and we set up a wireless network so we've had wireless here. very nifty.

on the weekends, they shut down one of the main streets and have a street market thingy. i got a 10 minute chair massage last week and am looking forward to spending the rest of my per diem on more of that.

i think i mentioned that we went to a strip club. it sucked. there are so many here, and i was really looking forward to spending time in strip clubs looking at nekkid ladies but it's such a fucking hustle. you can't just sit there and look at the nekkid ladies. they're always trying to hustle you for lap dances and $20 drinks and shit and i just want to sit there and not bother anyone and watch them spin on poles and stuff.

i understand they need my money and that's how they make it. i'd like to just give them $20 and say "go away". i guess i could do that. hmm. but i sure do hate that hustle.

it's made it into the show, though. i talk about falling for scams at the end of the show and use astrology, psychics and strippers liking you as "seemingly minor" scams and nigerian 419 and believing any united states president in the last 35 years as major scams.

provenz' helped a lot and we changed the top so it's much shorter. when we began performing three years ago, not as many people knew about the 419 scam. now it seems like everyone does, so i don't need to explain (or 'splain, as a mister ricky ricardo would say!) as much about the intricacies of the scam.

saw phil nicol's shoe last night. jessie and i saw him do the zoo story in edinburgh last year and his show was at the same time ours was there so i didn't get to see him do his show. it is fucking exhausting high energy. man, he works hard. man oh man. the guy is a maniac and his show is really great. all about overcompensating after someone accuses him of being homophobic. ends up making three dates with a gay hairdresser in australia. he talks about burnsy.

i miss burnsy. i imagine he's getting ready to head to edinburgh in a week or so. man. that madness. going to be missing all of that.

thank the lord that does not exist!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006


we are killing. killing.

shows are going great. victor is rockin the free world.

i am in the middle, however, of dealing with adults who actly like children regarding bukowsical and love tapes.

it's just plays, people. it is just stupid fucking plays and we are dragging each other through the god damned mud for it.

speaking of spam scam. the cues are running fast and we are jamming. it's nice doing the shoe in a comfy theater for people who are excited to see it and we are making money. so nice.

i really enjoy montreal. it is a comfy city. there's lots of french going on.

went to a strip club the other night. i've forgotten about how much i hate that "hustle". sitting there just looking at nekkid ladies. that's all i want to do. i don't want them to try to make me believe they like me. i don't need them to try to rub my lap and give me a boner.

just dance. do some of that stuff with the pole. that is a cool skill.
show me your vagina. it looks neat-o!

our waitress the other night said "it's my first night".

i said "what a coincidence. i was born yesterday".

she didn't get it.

our theater is cool-o. i'll post photos of it, soon.

that's all.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

bud light man law spot

It's ME!!!! DO NOT BLINK!!!!

Easier to watch here than going to the manlaw.com web site.

Or just turn on the t.v. I hear tell it's on every 15 seconds or so.