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Monday, January 22, 2007

never sleeps

We did our two shows and they both went really well. The audience at 10:30 was a bit tired and were just listening, which was a bit disconcerting. Especially after the first show which went so well.

I am, however, cautious... What a surprise for me. Hmmm.. I fear that the folks booking shows may want something a bit safer than the spam scam show. I don't mean that in a condescending way (that means "talk down to" ), I mean that you don't really get what's going to happen in spamscam from the title.

Victor, however, did some of his best stuff tonight. Really solid an schweet!


I do know that I had a whole bunch of stuff to do for legalzoom.com and did not do one single thing. I will try to pack it in tomorrow when I get home... but wow. I did not do well. Hmmm.

It's cold here. Did I mention that?

The really nice thing is that I edited the script down to 1/2 hour, and it's inspired me to begin adding the stuff from the other scams in... try to figure out some sort of structure. I have my russian bride, my hussein guy, mister ebay and the lotto all going through perry mason, but it's so unweildy, but this has given me confidence that i can pare that stuff down, too.

We shall see. I need to get back in andy's studio and make some calls to the former soviet union.



Saturday, January 20, 2007

new york

what would be a post without me complaining?

the agents repping spamscam have us here in new york to perform a 30minute version for folks who book our type of show in their respective theaters.

it is freezing here. my crimony. there's ice and snow and it's just cold.

a friend of mine has a place here and he's not here so i'm staying there. he has an amazing jacket that has saved my life. if it weren't for his jacket, i would be dead.

i had some questions:

1. never heard back from godaddy. i don't care, really. i don't think the racist guy is funny. that's all. i was hoping to just make his life a little more difficult. i don't think he's really a racist... well... maybe he is. i think he's hiding behind his religion. if he didn't have that, he probably couldn't be doing that "character". blah blah.

2. if you are in the nyc area (rug), we're at the broadway comedy club at 6 and 10. it is not going to be our full show at all. it is going to be half as long without our usual lighting. on the other hand, if you like getting out of the house in freezing ass weather, then maybe sunday is the day for you.

holy beans it's cold. i bet it's colder in minneapolis.

serves 'em right.

i had tea the day i got in with some friends here at the st. regis. it's so nice to do. i want to find a place in l.a. that has a nice afternoon tea. might be something to do a couple times a month. i liked it at the st. regis better when they brought out the ginormous platter thing. oh well.... my friends paid for it, so it was perfect!

had indian food down in little india with victor and andy, the guy he's staying with. when we performed here in june, he was donald aboyami. i'd forgotten this: he couldn't see the screen very well so instead of "mister pakir kubani" he improvised the name "Poonan Koonan". Much ribbing tonight.

In other news, one of the libertarian web sites, the adovcates, has redone their site and updated my listing. it's too bad that they can't get better celebrities than me. there is a rumor that brangelina want to do atlas shrugged. they would be perfect. i would worry that they might water it down.

dunno. who cares? it's cold!
must to sleep.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

los endos

A friend of mine is a writer/producer on NCIS and was nice enough to get me in to read for a nice part. It would've been cool-o to work with mark harmon again after... shit... 20 years.

Back when I actually had an acting career, I rarely booked guest star spots. It's so daunting and ridiculous to show up somewhere and there are literally 10 guys who look exactly like you. I always felt like "there are plenty of people here who could do this job... I should just go home."

That being said... there are plenty of people here in Hollywood who can do this job. I'm done. It wasn't a bad audition or anything... It was just another in the long line of mediocre. I'm tired of reading for the same people for the last 27 years. They know me. They are aware that I have worked as an actor but it seems that I will continue to have to go in and audition for TV shows. It's a senseless waste of human life.

I would love to be *on* a t.v. show or do a movie, but going in and auditioning for people is annoying. I can act. I have evidence and I'd be happy to show it to someone, but going in and reading 11 lines spread over 5 pages is not something I can do.

Last year, I saw Bob Romanus in a movie called Mojave Phone Booth. (or something). His performance is award winning. If the movie had a distributor and any sort of play, he would be getting his speeches ready. Instead, he can't get arrested, either. He was here a couple of weeks ago for a running charades fest and he talked about how he won't audition anymore.

I guess I'm one of the guys with the Fast Times curse. Ratner and Damone from the movie faded away. Ratner and Damone from the TV show are huge. Eerie!!!

Those three shitty movies ruined it, I guess. Maybe the manager who wouldn't return my calls for 10 years. And my fear of the manager and, most importantly, my laziness. I've been here 26 years and there's still this lottery thinking going on. It's no way to live. It was such a wonderful feeling of freedom after I called the agent and said "I'm done".

I feel like I have power over my life. Even though I haven't been "in the game" for quite a while, there was always a gnawing awareness in the background of the larger than normal randomness in my life; people I don't respect or care about holding my future and my dreams in their hands.

I gave it a shot. I guess it beat me somewhat. I mean, it's pretty much Vegas. The longer you stay around, the greater the odds for the house. I used to think it was the other way around; if you stay, they don't have a choice. Hmm. But... I did do a bunch of movies and tv shows. That's pretty great. I am "that guy" forever and ever. Also, very cool... much better than "hey, waiter".

The best thing is that I have survived. I have a lovely bride and home and voice overs and web programming should keep me in the chips until my bride is able to keep me in the manner to which I'm accustomed. I can write and direct shorts and plays. Les thornbirds will continue to chug along. maybe the record will come out *this* year. I can continue to act in stuff that friends toss my way. I guess I'm finally taking the advice I've given to so many: If there's a way that you can be happy being creative without getting the shit beat out of you by showbiz, do it.

Spamscam goes to nyc this weekend for a convention of bookers. I have yet to edit the script and photos for the required 1/2 hour running time. Hmmm. Procrastinate much?

I'm sure I'll write more about this... now is sleep time.

It's fitting that this article just came out.

Who knew?