hello there

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.

I would like to thank the cunts from Jet Blue and/or the TSA who stole the computer bag with the two computers used for the Nigerian Spam Scam from my suitcase. I hope you enjoy the computers and the cables and couplers I also use for Coreyoke.

I hope that you continue working your shitty job where you can justify stealing stuff from people who work. I hope the drugs you're buying with my shit make you feel better about your miserable fucking life.

I would also like to offer you two free tickets to see Jewtopia you motherfucking cunts.


Monday, January 14, 2008




Getting a show produced is near impossible. You did it.
Running sold-out in L.A. is an extraordinary feat. You did it.
Getting produced off-broadway is unheard of. You did that.
Setting a record like "Longest running off-broadway show" is, well, record setting. You did it.
Franchising a show; having several productions running simultaneously around the U.S. is a goal many have and few attain. You have, several times.
Some people spend their entire lives trying to get a book deal. You've done that.
Having your play produced as a feature film *and* being able to play the parts you wrote for yourself could be said to be impossible, but you were able to do that.

It's great that all of these things have happened for you. If my show, The Nigerian Spam Scam Scam, achieved just one of those, I would consider it an enormous suck-cess.

I'm nearly honored that we are represented (for now) by the same booking agency.


By not showing up at the bookers conference because it "wasn't worth your time" and having the agency show a crappy DVD you cleared the room. Literally.

When the evening began, the room had a dozen or so venue reps. Your DVD, shot on a consumer grade camera consisting of you talking about how suck-cessful your obvious and pandering piece of shit is, had the reps heading for the aisles.

Three reps from one theater toughed it out and stayed to see SpamScam.

Jewtopia, you don't know me. I don't know you. You don't care about me or my stupid little piece of shit show. It's obvious that you don't give a fuck about anything besides you and your collection of crappy skits, but if there is some way for me to make your life worse, I most certainly will.

I'm not going to dwell on it. I won't pursue it. I'm not going to give you another thought after I press "publish post"... but if somewhere, somehow, the opportunity to fuck you over so you miss out on a years worth of shows presents itself, I will. I will fuck your fucking piece of rotten and obvious shit show up.

Strap in.

Sunday, January 13, 2008


Streets O' Napa: The kind of spontaneous publicity we need to get head. Or something.

Saturday, January 12, 2008


that napa show was great. holy crap.

i realized that thing penn jillette talks about is so true:

audiences in l.a., ny and to an extent, the fringe fest, are jaded and, much like myself, generally have seen more crap than good.

the audiences who come to see us, haven't filtered the crap we have and aren't jaded and instead of preparing oneself for crap, are prepared to have a great time.

playing l.a. is like swinging a lead bat. not that these audiences are "rubes" or anything by a longshot. they're just not assholes like me.

it makes for great shows, that's for sure.

i bet i could learn something if i thought about it for a second.

off to nyc.

back in a day or something.


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Friday, January 11, 2008

backstage napa valley

Last show before we go to nyc.