hello there

Sunday, January 29, 2006


Thursday, January 26, 2006


when you start the buying a house process, everyone tells you about the amount of papers you have to sign.

they're not kidding.

the escrow lady did a smart thing, though; she put the ginormous stack papers on top of another ginormous stack of papers. so as we were finishing up, i thought we were only halfway through.


Wednesday, January 25, 2006

if i knew

if i knew why it happened, it wouldn't have.

num sayin'?

Thursday, January 19, 2006

pointless email

there was an article in the christian science (HAHAHAHAHAH) monitor about nigerian email scams and i saw a link about a jill caroll being kidnapped. i knew a jill caroll when i was younger and thought it might be her. it's not, it's a jill caroll who is a reporter for the christian science (HAHAHAHA) monitor.

there was an article about her and then a thing about praying for her. which seemed appropriate for the christian science (HAHAHAHAHAHA) monitor.

it was the most ridiculous thing i've ever read.

so i had to write a letter to the editor. because i'm 43 now. that's what i do. i write letters to the editors.

Has there been any direct correlation between the author's prayers and the release of any hostage?

Even more general. Have the prayers done anything at all?

What a silly and self-centered thing to do when a life is in danger: pray.

And, you know, since they're a different religion, shouldn't you be praying to their god? And if you're praying to their god, aren't your prayers pretty far down on the list of prayers to be answered? Because your christianity denies their god, right?

If i'm kidnapped by religious zealots (are there any other kind?) please don't pray for me. Please send help. Or, even better, get it together and stop believing in imaginary things.

Thank you.

I'm sure that will change their minds.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

new mexico

i think the thornbirds played here a while ago. or was that arizona? i don't remember.

anyway. got in at midnight. they picked me up. took me right over to the venue. everything had been set up. we go the video controller hooked up. i stumbled through the end. done.

you know. after "other experiences" with the show, i just expect incompetence. it's so nice that these guys, the tricklock theater company, are ON IT.

Man. Everything is perfect. I bet even Billy will be happy!

speaking of pro: http://gardnerandwife.com/06_spamscam.asp It looks like we're actually going to Malaysia this April. Wow.

The theater here is big and nice and comfy and everything works. Should be fun.

It's cold. Not crazy cold and not cold like you're in a foreign country so you won't ever be warm again cold, but it's cold. Like it's winter in New Mexico. That sort of cold.


I'm lightheaded from the lack of oxygen. there's an altitude situation.

Monday, January 16, 2006

spam scam in new mexico

going to go do the big shoe in albequerque I THINK I SPELLED IT RIGHT! FIRST TRY! tomorrow. we'll be there until sunday afternoon. looking forward to doing the big shoe. victor and i will get together in our room if he's not too wasted and go over the script.

i leave burbank at 5 or something and get in at 11. that's why they call the airline "america worst".

a fory four hour layover in phoenix or something. i bet we get to malaysia faster.

See how i'm already whining?!?!

butt seriously... they're paying us money. go figure.

aaron's coming with us to do light/sound and to do the same for billy the mime. aaron's gonna make money, too...

all the links i have for it are broken on the spamscamscam.com site. maybe i'll fix 'em. ah well...

penn jillette has been doing a radio show for the last week or so and i've been listening to it online when i can. today he and goudeau started talkign about me and penn was saying such sweet and nice things about me that i started actually blushing and almost started crying. i am such a fucking pussy. anyway, it was really nice. plus he talked about security edition and i got about 10 orders for cards. so. yay for penn!!!

that's all. must sleep.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

so close

lordy... we're so close to getting the house i can taste the horrible desperation of forclosure on my lips...

butt seriously... we're both getting excited. i have photos of the house in a directory and i keep looking at them.; imagining what it will be like to own such a thing.

it's pretty cool.

i also imagine what it will be like to start exercising and taking care of myself again. i have gained so much weight. at least one jack in the box oreo cookie shake a day is not helping things. and i haven't been to the gym in so long. oy.

but, once we're moved in. no. really.

it's so close.... soooo fucking... close....

in other news:

watched more of the 1st season of lost tonight. it's too bad that it's got woo woo.

and there's one character who has no body fat but is pregnant. it's funny. we do her voice in each scene "hey, do you think i'm pregnant? really. tell me. i don't think i do, but wardrobe says i look pregnant. do i? be honest."

sometimes when we watch movies, they'll be full of fantasy and woo woo stuff and we'll totally accept that but someone might say something out of character and we'll say "this show is bullshit". because, you know, an island with polar bears and prehistoric beings and dead fathers walking around is completely believable, but when one of the girls has a new shirt... well, that's just stretching things!!!

i should really be on a t.v. show.

that's called "mom career advice" and i just gave it to myself.

in other news. an old friend sent me a cd of 18 "milk" songs. milk was a band i was in with christian nesmith, fren asken, michiko freemond, juliana dimaggio and whoever could stand us long enough to play percussion. really intense 5 part harmonies, intricate parts, arrangements and fantastic songwriting from christian and michiko.

we'd be so huge now. we were sorta huge then. lots of people at gigs. good following. too bad that there were people not able to handle their drugs.

ah well.

these songs are just great, though.


Monday, January 09, 2006

i'd forgotten

so i had an audition today. i don't think this is going to be a blog about an actor going on auditions because if they continue to be like this i'm just going to stop. there is really no point.

i'd forgotten how much auditioning for tv shows sucks. it really is just awful. the director didn't make eye contact and was fidgeting. a producer's phone went off during the reading. the casting person aks questions when you come in that they don't give a fuck about. and i let allll that crap get in my head and fuck with me and make me remember why i hate being an actor so much; because i want these people to like me. and i do not like them at all because they treat people poorly. they treat creative, talented people who work hard to do good work like shit. and wanting those type of people to like you will fuck you up.

i just wanted to stop after the first scene and leave. i'm sure they did, too.

and then it just fucks up your day because you hate yourself for caring and you think you're a shitty actor which, if you were judged by those 2 minutes (and you are) you are a shitty actor.

at least with commercials, you know that you are meat, but you don't have to invest any of yourself in it. with tv you do. i mean, the part was a guy who drives a truck through the window of a home loan place. how perfect is that part for me right now in this moment of my life? hmm? none more. none more perfect.

and yet, i couldn't connect to it and let people who i don't want to hang out with form opinions about me.

and you know, there were three other guys there who could all do the part just as well. we are all fine. and they should just have us golf for the part or something.

it's just a silly thing. man, it gets me feeling shitty.

so then, the loan guy who is not the sag/aftra loan person called. i had written him an email saying that if he could get our payment below a certain amount, i would suck off a dog in public. so he calls.

"do you have a dog in mind that you're going to suck off?"

so that was good news. it's especially good news because the sag/aftra loan person is having us lie on our documents. it seems a) wrong and 2) unnecessary

so it will be nice to never return her calls.

if you're the sag/aftra loan person and you're reading this: sucks to be you!

then i went to a commercial audition and was treated like the meat i am.

plus, i have a bunch of stuff to code for skilljam.

oh... this is funny. someone replied to one of the blog posts asking me to contact customer service for them. um. go to maps.google.com and type in skilljam.com and it will give you the phone number.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

i bought this

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

new year

it's a new year.

2006. i never thought i'd be 43 years old.


well, worse things have happened, i suppose.

back to the annoying house subject:

the realtor came over and we went over our request for repairs. now the peeps selling the house can say "yes, we'll give you some money for the repairs" or "eat me" and then we'll decide what to do.

each morning i wake up in a panic about being able to pay for the house. by the end of the day, i'm fine.

work tomorrow. and i'm up too late, once again.